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personal
record
Matthias Schmidt
*1980 in Neuss I was born on the XXth of XX 1980 briefly after five o´clock
in the afternoon in the Lukashospital in Neuss/ Germany. In the year 1982
I moved with my parents and sister to a small village called Vettweiss. In
the age of four years I visited the nursery school and later on the
kindergarten. Since 1987 I went to the primary school in Vettweiss.On my
10th birthday I got an Amiga 500 from my parents and since then I have
been extremly interested in the technology. In 1991, I changed from the
primary school to the High School at the "Wirteltor" in Dueren.
Because of an operation at my appendix I had to stay in the central
hospital of Düren 1992. Since the age of fourteen I regulary consumed
alcohol and cigarettes and because of this my performance at school got
worse and finnaly I had to repeat the 8th class according to a Six in
latin and a Five in English (Six is the worst mark in Germany you can get).
Being 16 years old I tried for the first time hashish and one year later I
stopped drinking alcohol but continued smoking only hashish and cigarettes.
In January 1998 (10th class), I changed to the extended elemantary school
in Vettweiss being again in the danger of repeating one schoolyear having
again a Five in English and this time also in German. That´s why I was
downgraded from 10 B to the easier level 10A on the extented elemantary
school. In the meantime I consumed just because of curiosity LSD,
amphitamine and ectasy. In August 1998, I began a training as a packaging
mechanic. On my 18th birthday I got the driving licence class 3 (car). In
the beginning of 1999 I moved into my first own apartment in Dueren. On
the 14th of April 1999 I tried the first time to commit suicide and
afterwards I went for one month to a special hospital in Dueren where I
also made an IQ test. The result was an IQ of 133. I quit my training,
gave up my apartment and moved back again to my parents in Vettweiss. Two
months after my dismissal I relapsed again to drugconsumption (predominantly
hashish). I worked as a pizza-driver till November and with the start of
the year 2000 I couldn´t control my aggressions any longer. Therefore I
went a second time to hospital in Zuelpich on the 17th of January 200 in
order to make another withdrawal. I stayed there till the 12th of May
2000. Since this time I am clean and aggressions have not occurred again.
On 14th of November 2000 I started a therapy for rehablitation in the
psychosomatic hospital in Dabringhausen because of a double diagnosis (psychosis
and craze). However, not being able to open myself in the single
discussion therapy and not seing my problems as I should have seen them I
quit the therapy after six weeks because of a too small therapy motivation.
I did not become backdued yet. On the 11th of March 2001, I assumed again
a part - time job as a distribution driver for meals for elder people.
Because of my illness I did not have to do my military service. Instead
of this I moved to Heidelberg on the 15th of April 2002 in order to start
again a training at a "Berufsförderungswerk" .THREE YEARS OF LATE: Now I am an unemployed person of technical draughtsmen Maschinen and Anlagentechnik with the additive partial technical designer. -- so, I see that I made at my Internetseit since long time nothing more. -- Thus, in order to get one straight: The best therapy is meaningful work. Simply not to take not to be allowed, the Reuckfallrisiko increases drugs. Apart from the training in hp I consumed myself there a little even a therapy ore and again, however not excessively, alcohol and Hasch. Suppl.-smooth-eat: Too expensively, work hardly still. Alcohol shoots me immediately . Forwards do not comb-race has I also more such fear. To the Agressionen: I cannot be pleased everything. One should not me into the corner urge, then impact I too. However verbarle Agression occurs frequently, particularly with Diskusionen, nearly as in former times, when I was not yet ill. STILL NEARLY A HALF YEAR OF LATE: I get a second medicine for some months that somewhat speedig works. Accordingly I am very active. No longer as ne sleeping pill as before. Briefly before my nut/mother died, I stopped with smoking. For the same reason as expensive with drugs, too, custom I does not work not. Today (Julie 2005) I should watch out, which did not abzusetzten medicines, because I feel nearly healthy. However: I am like that, because I very good medicines today have. Nevertheless I am still put because of my heavy handicap and psychological illness into the corner of the dangerous. But to legal propaganda from the Hollywood Psycho films and daily papers, which it each time not expressly enough walk, the child/woman violater is one of the certain psychologically patients… , to it I have me nearly, but accustoms unfortunately not always. 2006 after removal
to Langerwehe. FAR 2,5 YEARS AT THE BEGINNING OF OF 2008: A far hospital stay in the Dürener national hospital was necessary, for several reasons. The speedige Parazotin against depressions was set off, the dose against the Psychose was increased. Me explained that depressions come from the inside out, without reason, with me however the symptoms to therefore come that I e.g. bad message on the television sees, for me thousand thoughts on it makes and therefore drauf is bad. Now the dopamine blockers were increased, I make themselves less thought and it give no depression. Everything in the everything was much too exciting the year 2006. I wanted to continue the school, which ABI retrieve. Instead I was struck back, the Psychose lähmt me already strongly. GDB was raised of 50% to 80%, I is in the basic safety device and at present. not able to work. Still applies to me, no drugs, no cigarettes and nearly no alcohol. About craze prevention I came to the opinion that a strict prohibition does not help few to at all, if the reward center in the brain replacement does not get. With breath technology, music and certain thoughts (Meditation) I can set meanwhile body-own Endorphine free and need myself for it no craze materials. My body is again so sensitive that Cola, cocoa or sharp meal in homöopathischen quantities are sufficient, in order to experience beautiful senses. - Now in January 2008 I concern completely different topic. Since then I the Psychose as illness accept, I a great deal over me thought. In the psychosomatischen hospital Dabringhausen I was asked by a Mitpatienten whether I would be Autist. I knew at that time only the completely glaring form of it and answered in the negative. The Psychose came with 20 years, however released. However some questions thereby were not answered. Today, after 27 Lebensjahren point I that Autismus has a spectrum. I assume to have the “ Asperger syndrome ". And since earliest childhood. I will follow to this thing in the university University of Cologne. A short information over 40 sides brought me a illuminierten condition, I found a writing, which explained my interior life, why I the people anstarre and nearly not able is, the body language to understand, thereupon to incorrect interpretations, which led straight again and again in my childhood and youth time to violent conflicts. The special interests, to which the homework belonged to rarely. Not to understand interpretations and metaphors and to learn and put in the brain these down as when learning a foreign language by heart. To take discussions word by word. The Nonverbale communication is completely impossible, which places a flirting or the partner search under most difficult conditions. To go the same ways and to make and speak possibly also about the same things in large cycles the things to always the same kind. - Asperger learn with the time to be in the world by right. The problems are usually in the childhood and youth. However the Asperger becomes syndrome, if at all, frequently only with end diagnoses 20. The more intelligent, the more inconspicuously this illness is, because an adjustment at the surrounding field takes place. Possibly the Psychose could have been formed also by the violent changes (Autisten to like no changes) in puberty, from the child - young person - arising, and have been displaced the drugs as primary trip. These questions answer themselves shortly with the professor in Cologne. Already me the realization helps, as I stop ticks, the life clearly more pleasant to arrange and thus also a healthier “I” to get. Autisten can perform qualified work within niche ranges highly. I think there of Temple Grandin, which attained a Professur, despite Autismus. In addition, John Forbes Nash is a model for me, which became recovered at Psychose gotten sick, and kept even the Nobelpreis. In the university enterprise it seems to be possible to make despite impairments a Kariere. Thus I am waiting, as it is to continue now with me. Matthias Schmidt
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